What's Your Grisly Detail Tolerance?
What's Your Grisly Detail Tolerance?
I worked on The Vellum Scribe today and then wondered if my details were too much for my readers. You can chime in in comments. Would the post mortem keep you from enjoying the story? Let me know below.
Here's the passage in question:
Marcus dismounted and went up to his brother’s body. He looked and then turned vomiting over the fresh flowers in the grass. A slave ran up to offer him a cloth. He wiped his mouth, took a deep breath and turned back toward what remained of Lucas. He stared open-mouthed. He crossed himself three times and then raised his hands palms up and began to pray. "Blessed is our Lord God, always; both now and ever, and to the ages of ages.”
The slaves around the cart raised their hands and stood mute as they listened to his prayer until the end when they joined in to recite, “Lord, have mercy,” twelve times. Marcus put down his hands and looked at Lucas’ body.
“His face. His face,” Marcus said. “It’s dark as a devil. Is this what happens when the soul departs?”
Wiliarit opened his mouth, but Argolicus frowned, waving his hand to stop him. He walked up to Marcus. “Being outside exposed to the sun has hastened the dissolution of his body."
“He was beautiful,” Marcus said. “Now everything about him is disgusting. My baby brother has turned into a monster. I will never get rid of this sight in my head. Never.” He turned away to vomit again. When he recovered, he pointed to the bloody depression in Lucas’ head. “Who would do this?”
Argolicus remembered Maria’s warning. He wondered what she had meant about lying. And who were they? Did she mean the father and the brothers? If so, Marcus might be feigning. The decomposing body was repulsive. Even if Marcus had killed his brother, the sight of the body days later was enough to disturb anyone. If Marcus was the killer, then the decomposition could prompt not just revulsion but guilt.
“We could speculate, but that is all it would be,” Argolicus said. “Now is the time to take care of Lucas. Get him home or to the clerics to prepare his body for burial.”
Marcus nodded and made the sign of the cross three times. “You are right. The sooner he is in the ground, the sooner this ghastly vision will be gone.” He motioned to the slaves. They brought a large blanket and spread it out next to Lucas’ body. Four slaves gathered around the body and reached down to lift the body onto the blanket. Marcus counted down one, two, three. At the count of three, the slaves slid their hands under the body and began to lift it. The head wobbled backward and reddish fluid oozed out of the mouth and nose. One slave jumped back almost losing hold of the body. Marcus signaled another slave to hold the head. The men lifted in unison and brought the body up off the ground. The right arm of the corpse flopped down. One of the lifters reached out to place the arm on the torso. The skin on the hand slid down over the fingers.
Marcus cried out. Once again, Argolicus wondered what the brother knew and whether he had killed Lucas.
Oh, yes, you can join the email list, too. http://bit.ly/ArgolicusFans
http://mailchi.mp/actationnow/post-mortum-details-too-grisly?e=3beb936c5c
I worked on The Vellum Scribe today and then wondered if my details were too much for my readers. You can chime in in comments. Would the post mortem keep you from enjoying the story? Let me know below.
Here's the passage in question:
Marcus dismounted and went up to his brother’s body. He looked and then turned vomiting over the fresh flowers in the grass. A slave ran up to offer him a cloth. He wiped his mouth, took a deep breath and turned back toward what remained of Lucas. He stared open-mouthed. He crossed himself three times and then raised his hands palms up and began to pray. "Blessed is our Lord God, always; both now and ever, and to the ages of ages.”
The slaves around the cart raised their hands and stood mute as they listened to his prayer until the end when they joined in to recite, “Lord, have mercy,” twelve times. Marcus put down his hands and looked at Lucas’ body.
“His face. His face,” Marcus said. “It’s dark as a devil. Is this what happens when the soul departs?”
Wiliarit opened his mouth, but Argolicus frowned, waving his hand to stop him. He walked up to Marcus. “Being outside exposed to the sun has hastened the dissolution of his body."
“He was beautiful,” Marcus said. “Now everything about him is disgusting. My baby brother has turned into a monster. I will never get rid of this sight in my head. Never.” He turned away to vomit again. When he recovered, he pointed to the bloody depression in Lucas’ head. “Who would do this?”
Argolicus remembered Maria’s warning. He wondered what she had meant about lying. And who were they? Did she mean the father and the brothers? If so, Marcus might be feigning. The decomposing body was repulsive. Even if Marcus had killed his brother, the sight of the body days later was enough to disturb anyone. If Marcus was the killer, then the decomposition could prompt not just revulsion but guilt.
“We could speculate, but that is all it would be,” Argolicus said. “Now is the time to take care of Lucas. Get him home or to the clerics to prepare his body for burial.”
Marcus nodded and made the sign of the cross three times. “You are right. The sooner he is in the ground, the sooner this ghastly vision will be gone.” He motioned to the slaves. They brought a large blanket and spread it out next to Lucas’ body. Four slaves gathered around the body and reached down to lift the body onto the blanket. Marcus counted down one, two, three. At the count of three, the slaves slid their hands under the body and began to lift it. The head wobbled backward and reddish fluid oozed out of the mouth and nose. One slave jumped back almost losing hold of the body. Marcus signaled another slave to hold the head. The men lifted in unison and brought the body up off the ground. The right arm of the corpse flopped down. One of the lifters reached out to place the arm on the torso. The skin on the hand slid down over the fingers.
Marcus cried out. Once again, Argolicus wondered what the brother knew and whether he had killed Lucas.
Oh, yes, you can join the email list, too. http://bit.ly/ArgolicusFans
http://mailchi.mp/actationnow/post-mortum-details-too-grisly?e=3beb936c5c
Not at all. You have kept it civilised.
ReplyDeleteBeau Johnston Thanks. The newsletter subscribers who replied agreed.
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